Neil Hilborn - “Static Electricity”
"Kissing you is like a bundle of kittens colliding with my face at 0.5 miles per hour."
Performing at the Saint Paul Poetry Slam.
This is probably my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Also, I agreed to the title whilst drunk, which is to say tonight. Thanks for posting, Button!
Sierra DeMulder - “The Tampon Poem”
"Bears aren’t attracted to menstrual blood. MENSTRUAL BLOOD IS ATTRACTED TO BEARS."
Two-time National Poetry Slam Champion and Button Poet Sierra DeMulder tells it like it is about tampons, i.e. unreasonable things for men to be afraid of.
is where I go when I run out of
Missing You. Because the door
is three feet high, you have to crawl
into the Factory. Let me tell you
about leaving: it’s either the drain
or the window. The carpet
at The Sadness Factory is all shag.
The drapes? Also shag. The walls
are supposed to change color with your mood,
but they have been broken since the 80s,
which I hear were a rough time for empathic
architecture. The Factory is, no joke,
shaped like a heart; sadness is the corniest
of emotions. The most popular time to visit
is at night because, again,
corniness, so they have hired the world’s
most incompetent security guard. He is always
weeping and saying something unintelligible
about my wife, my wife. Sadness
is much easier when you are reminded,
by phone, by accident, of what makes you
happy, so the Factory always smells
like maple syrup and snowmelt. There’s no
golden ticket. Iron, though. Cement. The lines
for samples are prohibitively long: New Apartment
Sadness; Everything Is Great but Something
Feels Strange Sadness; A Midsummer
Night’s Sadness; The Sadness of Wanting
To Break Something but Being Too Weak;
The Sadness that Comes from always Knowing
Exactly where You Are.